Code Blue

It has been a long run of very hot weather here in New Haven. And sadly, the tropical temperatures and humidity have corresponded with a major clean-up of our un-air-conditioned third floor, a huge weeding job in the garden, and the long-overdue Spring clean-up of our back yard. During, (and especially after), each of these onerous tasks I have been craving a cold beer or two.


Only one question: How do I know if my beer is actually cold enough to drink? Sure, I could reach into the fridge and FEEL the can or bottle, but that is so 1990s. Or, even more radically, I could just trust that the fridge has done what it has always done and kept the things in it cold. OR, I could buy Coors Light in the patented color-changing bottles that let you KNOW when the beer inside is cold enough. The mountains on the label turn from white to blue. And thank God they do, because there were so many serious mistakes made before this technology came along. Can you even imagine popping the top on a bottle of beer that is 41 degrees Fahrenheit instead of the ideal 38 degrees?
And because I have been so busy around the house I have been neglecting personal hygiene ever-so-slightly. The big things are still getting done—armpits, hair, feet—but the secondary, strictly-for-show areas have been getting short shrift. I have a well-trimmed beard, but the whiskers that grow on my throat south of the beard require a shave every two or three days to keep them separate from my chest hair.
Only one question: Will I get the best shave possible if my razor has only three blades? Should I bump up to the Quattro, or maybe even the Gillette Fusion Shaving System, (with FIVE blades)? Will my throat be as smooth as it could be if I use a razor instead of a shaving system? (I guess that's three questions, isn't it? Oops, four.)